It happened when I was talking with a coworker right outside the COO’s office at my firm. I glanced down at my buzzing cell phone, a rare call from my mom. It was then I heard those dreaded words, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” I imagined the worst of course, that she had fallen in the lake out back and was desperately grabbing onto the cattails on the edge to keep from sinking to the depths below.
Focusing on her concise words, I soon interpreted that mom had fallen in the front yard while raking and she didn’t have the strength to get up. She was right next to the yard island which enclosed a tall oak tree with roots exposed above ground weaving through the grass. An uneven ground and easy for tripping. While on the ground, she said she had called my husband who was working right there in our home office several yards away but he didn’t answer. I was glad she remembered how to use her flip phone. She wasn’t terribly upset, just tired of laying on the sloping ground. I told her someone would be there soon to pick her up. I called my husband, no answer as well. I then called my daughter who lives three miles away and she dropped everything and rushed on over, bringing along my strong grandson, Caleb, to help out. Within a few minutes they arrived and she was contentedly standing vertically. My unobservant husband who just got off his phone was startled to see my daughter and grandson breezing in the door. “What are you doing here?” he asked. As you can guess, my husband was later chastised for his inattentiveness and abundant promises were made that we would do a better job keeping any eye on her.
My mind drifted back to a time when Mom (aka Grandma) first moved in with us 6 years ago. She was raking out back, fell, and couldn’t get up. My husband was home but totally unaware she had fallen (you see a trend here). She said she tried every which way to get up, but simply did not have the strength. Fortunately, she didn’t lay there too long before our gracious neighbor spotted her laying in the grass and helped her up. This was when we decided to get her a cell phone so she could call us. We had given her an old iPhone but she couldn’t figure it out, so we got her an old fashioned flip phone like in Star Trek which is strapped around her body everywhere she goes.
Yes, it would be nice if Grandma (who is 90 years old) had the strength to get up, but that’s when family and friends can step in and help.
“Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent.” Psalm 71:9
Grandma’s been most fortunate in falling in soft grass as she has severe Osteoporosis. As you can see, she is bent over about 4-5 inches. Did you know it’s impossible to buy clothes for women with Osteoporosis? Fortunately, I am blessed with a certain skill set. I’ve created some tops that fit a stooped posture and customized them for her frame. She doesn’t go anywhere anymore other than the doctor’s visits, simple clothing is best. Her geriatric doctor suggested we get her a pair of nice balanced tennis shoes along with balancing sessions at a local physical therapy place. I must commend the store clerk who spent an hour with her, and although she has some serious bunions that make her feet wider, she was fitted with a nice pair of New Balance shoes.
They say that physical therapy is the most effective tool for improving balance and gait training. We were assigned to an upbeat physical therapist who showed her some techniques that can help regain strength and footing. Unfortunately, with her short term memory (dementia) she has already forgot the lessons she learned. Oh well, she did have fun.
It happened again. It was a beautiful spring day at the Miller Manor (our house) when I heard our security woman’s robotic voice “back door open”. Grandma had escaped to the outdoors again. She was raking alright, this time barefooted (where she could keep her balance). I didn’t blame her for getting outside, it was a beautiful day. I was working from our home office upstairs (during Covid), when I watched her from the upstairs window. She was venturing out too far; she was in the wet muddy grassy area out back. I was aware that anything might happen with her, so I literally stuck my head out the open window every 10 minutes to check on her. So far, so good. Then suddenly, there she was …. lying face down in the grass! I ran out to help her up but struggled to lift her up – I just wasn’t strong enough. Just then my husband got home from the store and he saw the commotion in the backyard. He ran out and easily lifted her up. She appeared groggy and said she “lost all control”, in other words she fainted or blacked out. She could barely communicate any words and was clearly confused and weak. She said she couldn’t remember how to use her cell phone to call us. “You are doing too much work outside”, I said. She nodded and came into rest. That was when we started setting limits for her and forbade her from raking out in the wet grassy area. But… with dementia, she has probably already forgotten.
Osteoporosis means “porous bone.” Viewed under a microscope, healthy bone looks like a honeycomb. When osteoporosis occurs, the holes and spaces in the honeycomb are much larger than in healthy bone.
Grandma is not alone in living with Osteoporosis, an estimated 10 million Americans have the disease, 80 percent of them women. Osteoporosis is a bone disease that occurs when the body loses too much bone, makes too little bone, or both. As a result, bones become weak and may break from a fall or even from sneezing or minor bumps.
Incredibly, 20% of seniors with Osteoporosis who break a hip die within one year from either complications related to the broken bone itself, or the surgery to repair it. So that’s what the doctor meant… if she breaks a bone, game over – broken bones will rarely heal. For more info on Osteoporosis, see https://www.nof.org. A bone density test will easily tell you if you or a loved one has it.
Drifting back about 25 years, I do recall she broke her leg stepping down a mere two steps in our carpeted living room. I thought it was odd that she broke her leg so easily at the time but now we know breaking a bone is often the first sign of osteoporosis. With her dementia, she doesn’t remember breaking her leg, or many other negative things that have happened to her.
God calls us to help our relatives. Whether it’s taking care of them in our own home as best they can or placing them in a good senior care facility or skilled nursing home; the family is the first who should step in to provide.
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.’ 1 Timothy 5:7
We let Grandma enjoy autonomy at our home and land, even if it means going outside and raking grass trimmings or pine straw – it gives her a sense of purpose. The outdoors seems to call her name and she feels compelled to help out somehow. She doesn’t have any hobbies, being out in nature is her hobby. Studies show that having a sense of purpose actually helps people live longer.
Fortunately, I have just retired from my job and now can afford more time to keep an eye on mom. The family has now affectionately nicknamed her …. “Rogue Grandma”.
See related story
There’s a Stranger Living With Us http://www.spiritualmom.com/?p=600